Reserve or Deserve? (Delayed)

In a recent post that I've read from Mishberries' blog;

Given the Chance / Forced to Say Whatever's on Your Mind for 2 Hours in Your Entire Life

It got me thinking for a bit. There's the courtesy factor when it comes to situations explained by her, but then again, what about situations where courtesy is not a factor?

Now the situation gets even more interesting because the real challenge here would be "Would you hold your tongue back?"

I know I've been in some serious hot tomyam soup in the past because of the tongue lashing that I so often "donate" to "well-deserving" people, but then again, the habit hasn't quite dropped off completely. It comes whenever it has the oppurtunity to anyway.

 

IN YO FACE! 

Many a times, we caught ourselves spewing words before our brain's neuroceptors could comprehend it, then we end up feeling guilty for doing so. I know I'm guilty of that *sometimes*

But anyhow, say you do see a friend dressed up pretty funkily. It's a mish-mash of blue, with splashes of yellow, dots of red and stripes of green running all over her like a faerie light on a Christmas tree. I don't think I ever have any friends who dressed like that, but you know, if I did, I'l probably tell her how ugly she looks in that costume and perhaps advice her to get one decent and easy on the eye.

When The Time Comes (Delayed)

Cool February morning I must say. It has been raining for the past two days and as much as Chinese New Year is looming a-closer, with only five more days to go, the weather is still as unpromising as ever.

As we talk about Chinese New Year, yesterday's little dinner chat with my mum got me to realise that my dad.. is getting older. The tell-tale signs hit me for a bit. I know my dad won't always be the superman that he has been, but he will always be the "Super Dad" within us. And I know, I won't be young for too long, time to really work on my life, set it in line, think about future plans (although I always do that).

When my old man's retired, god forbids he becomes one of those cranky fellow retirees. He still has his lawn, his flowers, his carps and kois. He still has his family, wife, sons and daughter. He still has his friends and mahjong sessions, but only without a full-time job. It's only understandable that he becomes fidgety. I guess I'll just have to accompany him more at the mahjong table when the time comes. Haha!

On Nights Like These

Plenty of things screaming through my mind now, I can't decide to where exactly am I going to start. In fact, I'm between quandaries of deciding to sleep on it or just write it out here.

And the weather isn't exactly the most motivational for a blogging night

It's pretty chilling right now and my head's a bit high from the last mug of coffee. Plenty of things playing in my mind lately; of my future, my decisions, my life. It's pretty hazy, unclear and with no sense of direction. I have this mild feeling I'm living in a proper mess right now. I admit I'm getting tired of being JUST a student. I want to graduate real quickly and gtfo of my uni and embark onto another phase of life. I'm actually ashamed of myself.

Apart from that, by the end of this month, it's gonna be goodbye and not sure if we'll meet again. What will happen then after? I worry about that too. It's not that I don't care. I may not pay the greatest attention to it, but it keeps running in my mind; by the end of this month, everything will change. For better? For worst? Even I can't see. There's so many things I want to do, but it seems like I can't. If only I hadn't fall sick in these past few months. If only I wasn't such a liability. If only I could have more time. Even as I write, Bruno Mars' "When I Was Your Man" kept playing at the back of my head. I'm actually feeling guilty.

On the plus side, the only plus I think, I have been working out for a bit. At least, to motivate myself further, I've taken some steps on my own. And, by being on my own for a moment, I learnt that they aren't going to be there for you. Sigh.

I also hope I can be more independent from now onward. Would really like to be able to just live on my own, independently. It's not really about the freedom. It's about knowing that you won't be a burden anymore to anyone.

Anyway, sorry for being emotional tonight. I really need some sleep and hopefully I'll be a more cheerful person by morning.

PS: I hope you're reading this because you're the only thing I would like to have tonight second to coffee. Good night my dear. I miss you.