Certainly, it was one of those spring, when the breeze would blow softly across the meadow, playing with the grass all the while lulling along the trees to sway gently under its wings. It gave a hope of freshness and life anew. It would definitely be an opportunity for the land to start all over again, after a harsh period of icy cold winter. As the meadow danced along, etching the ways of the wind on the grasses, you can feel like eternity is not enough for such a day as you see the cloud slowly calming the sun rays, careful not crank the heat over the notch.
But with every delight, comes the dreadful. Right before your very eyes, the sun rays were stripped right from the daylight as the chilly winds blew in and an ominous cloud started to slowly creep in from the horizon. Unbeknownst to you, all of a sudden, a crack of thunder worked its way into the mirage of the perfect day you thought you might have. And as if the day couldn't get any worst, in came the hurricane, lashing up wildly into the meadow, stripping everything in its path, leaving the bare naked land with debris of a wreck that has been. Surely, the end of the day is near?
Not if we can see the rainbow that hangs over the horizon, across the gentle beams of the sun that would illuminate the sky once again and bring life back onto the meadow. Rain will wash away the pain, and the grass will soon fill the lush, green meadow all over again as the shrubs grew into trees, trees into oasis, and oasis into the strong mighty forest.
It's just another cycle anyway, so why bother right? Let the river run its course, because at every bend, a new surprise awaits.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Reserve or Deserve? (Delayed)
In a recent post that I've read from Mishberries' blog;
Now the situation gets even more interesting because the real challenge here would be "Would you hold your tongue back?"
I know I've been in some serious hot tomyam soup in the past because of the tongue lashing that I so often "donate" to "well-deserving" people, but then again, the habit hasn't quite dropped off completely. It comes whenever it has the oppurtunity to anyway.
Given the Chance / Forced to Say Whatever's on Your Mind for 2 Hours in Your Entire Life
It got me thinking for a bit. There's the courtesy factor when it comes to situations explained by her, but then again, what about situations where courtesy is not a factor?Now the situation gets even more interesting because the real challenge here would be "Would you hold your tongue back?"
I know I've been in some serious hot tomyam soup in the past because of the tongue lashing that I so often "donate" to "well-deserving" people, but then again, the habit hasn't quite dropped off completely. It comes whenever it has the oppurtunity to anyway.
IN YO FACE!
Many a times, we caught ourselves spewing words before our brain's neuroceptors could comprehend it, then we end up feeling guilty for doing so. I know I'm guilty of that *sometimes*
But anyhow, say you do see a friend dressed up pretty funkily. It's a mish-mash of blue, with splashes of yellow, dots of red and stripes of green running all over her like a faerie light on a Christmas tree. I don't think I ever have any friends who dressed like that, but you know, if I did, I'l probably tell her how ugly she looks in that costume and perhaps advice her to get one decent and easy on the eye.
When The Time Comes (Delayed)
Cool February morning I must say. It has been raining for the past two days and as much as Chinese New Year is looming a-closer, with only five more days to go, the weather is still as unpromising as ever.
As we talk about Chinese New Year, yesterday's little dinner chat with my mum got me to realise that my dad.. is getting older. The tell-tale signs hit me for a bit. I know my dad won't always be the superman that he has been, but he will always be the "Super Dad" within us. And I know, I won't be young for too long, time to really work on my life, set it in line, think about future plans (although I always do that).
When my old man's retired, god forbids he becomes one of those cranky fellow retirees. He still has his lawn, his flowers, his carps and kois. He still has his family, wife, sons and daughter. He still has his friends and mahjong sessions, but only without a full-time job. It's only understandable that he becomes fidgety. I guess I'll just have to accompany him more at the mahjong table when the time comes. Haha!
As we talk about Chinese New Year, yesterday's little dinner chat with my mum got me to realise that my dad.. is getting older. The tell-tale signs hit me for a bit. I know my dad won't always be the superman that he has been, but he will always be the "Super Dad" within us. And I know, I won't be young for too long, time to really work on my life, set it in line, think about future plans (although I always do that).
When my old man's retired, god forbids he becomes one of those cranky fellow retirees. He still has his lawn, his flowers, his carps and kois. He still has his family, wife, sons and daughter. He still has his friends and mahjong sessions, but only without a full-time job. It's only understandable that he becomes fidgety. I guess I'll just have to accompany him more at the mahjong table when the time comes. Haha!
On Nights Like These
Plenty of things screaming through my mind now, I can't decide to where exactly am I going to start. In fact, I'm between quandaries of deciding to sleep on it or just write it out here.
And the weather isn't exactly the most motivational for a blogging night
It's pretty chilling right now and my head's a bit high from the last mug of coffee. Plenty of things playing in my mind lately; of my future, my decisions, my life. It's pretty hazy, unclear and with no sense of direction. I have this mild feeling I'm living in a proper mess right now. I admit I'm getting tired of being JUST a student. I want to graduate real quickly and gtfo of my uni and embark onto another phase of life. I'm actually ashamed of myself.
Apart from that, by the end of this month, it's gonna be goodbye and not sure if we'll meet again. What will happen then after? I worry about that too. It's not that I don't care. I may not pay the greatest attention to it, but it keeps running in my mind; by the end of this month, everything will change. For better? For worst? Even I can't see. There's so many things I want to do, but it seems like I can't. If only I hadn't fall sick in these past few months. If only I wasn't such a liability. If only I could have more time. Even as I write, Bruno Mars' "When I Was Your Man" kept playing at the back of my head. I'm actually feeling guilty.
On the plus side, the only plus I think, I have been working out for a bit. At least, to motivate myself further, I've taken some steps on my own. And, by being on my own for a moment, I learnt that they aren't going to be there for you. Sigh.
I also hope I can be more independent from now onward. Would really like to be able to just live on my own, independently. It's not really about the freedom. It's about knowing that you won't be a burden anymore to anyone.
Anyway, sorry for being emotional tonight. I really need some sleep and hopefully I'll be a more cheerful person by morning.
PS: I hope you're reading this because you're the only thing I would like to have tonight second to coffee. Good night my dear. I miss you.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
A Good Night's Rest.
I haven't been having a great deal of rest lately, due to the sickness that have plagued me since February the 15th as most of you might know. Yes, I have been sick, like, terribly sick for more than a month but nonetheless, today, I would like to believe that I am better than most days in the past month already. I swear yesterday was one of the best nights ever because I finally had a great, long, uninterrupted sleep and a very pleasant dream.
They said a dream is a window into the soul, the longing of one's wants.
So, if it's true then, that a dream mirrors one's deep heart's desire, then let me share with you my dream for a little.
I dreamt that I was at the kitchen, helping out my family to cook. We were preparing our annual New Year dinner and almost everyone was there, helping out to cook. The food that particularly struck my interest the most is the crab and stingray. I suggested the stingray to be deep fried with flour while the crab should be cooked Chinese-style with black pepper. Though it's not the food that I want to talk about. It's the people in my dream.
Everyone in my family; my aunts, my uncles, my mum, my dad, my grandmother, my cousins, my siblings, all of them were there and the best part is, everyone is happy, just.. happy being there together as a family. It felt so surreal that just living in that dream was quite enough for me. I'm not implying that my family condition currently is in a turmoil, but it's probably because of late, things haven't been quite smooth I guess.
Sometimes, amongst us cousins, we always tell ourselves "Let the adults deal with their own problems themselves." while we happily gamble with cards or play Monopoly Deal in our respective rooms.
Or then again, it has been quite the Asian family value that we are not to interfere in adult matter because adults always think they are right.
Sometimes, adults always think they are right, which is pretty sad, because wouldn't that sound like an authoritarianism or Hitlerism? We don't have the opportunity to voice out our opinion or ideas to solve a matter. Funny how we are taught to speak the truth, encourage peace and whatnots, but then again, it's pretty hard to do that even at home.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Come, the last day of January. In Loving Memories of Shawn.
And we ask ourselves, what have we done in the first month of the first year thus far? What have we achieved? What have we lost? What do we hold dear? Even as you read, I continue to grief for the lost of a dear friend this past week. Allow me, to write, a short journal of what I intended to post on that one day when a most unwanted event occured in my life.
Date : 26th of January 2013
Dearest Shawn, may you rest in peace.
As we mourn for the cold hard body lying inside the coffin, I took a glance into the sky. Indeed, there was only a star shining ever so brightly that night. Only one. Maybe it's him, up there, looking at us.
Silly you Shawn, for holding back every hardship to yourself. You could have told us before, your pains and suffering, but you chose to take it to yourself, never letting us worry, always smiling and going with the flow. These kind of situations, the ones we always see on soap operas and dramas, never did I know, one day, it hit us so hard in reality. And now, everytime I pass by your shop, I can't help but look at that familiar shop sign, those shutted doors, closed for good. Those good old days starts flashing back everytime I drove along the street, your shop, our hangout place, the garden.
Tears flow as we heard how you've kept your sickness to yourself, even away from your most immidiate family members. We felt guilty, like we have failed you or some sort. Like, we aren't "friends" enough to know and share your burden. I am a man who seldom cry over the slightest stuff. I don't know myself well enough. We barely hangout as much as real friends do, but your selfless actions of not trying to make us worry-warts for your condition, touched me so deeply. You've mentioned of pains while swallowing and discomforts in your stomach. Perhaps it leaked off on us as something as simple as ulcer, but never did we expect, that one day, a deadly cancer has took you away from us. You already knew you had it, for two years, but never did you make an eek, or a sound about it.
I'll remember our conversations, the jokes we shared, the drinks we had, the times we spent. All too clearly, struck me hard when your sister related to us your demise. Disbelieving, shocking, choked, appaled, frightened; words just can't describe the accumulated feelings, those mish-mash of emotions bursting lid-full out of our conscious. Tears free-flowed, nose watery, mouth speechless. Heads shaking, disappointment. Not sure if with you or with self, but neither can bring you back anymore.
Anyway, rest well dear friend. We'll always remember you deeply, as a part of our lives. Silly you Shawn, to think that we will abandon you. Silly you Shawn, to think we will never come to your funeral. Silly you Shawn, to send those mushy "I love all of you, my dear friends." minutes just before you collapse. Silly you Shawn. Rest in peace. Before we end, allow me to mark a line that I have created, that I so very often remind myself.
The value of a man is not weighed in gold and silver, nor his achievements in life but instead in the amount of tears shed during his passing.
In Loving Memories of Shawn
Brother. Son. Friend.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Listen, Listen, When I Speak You Listen!
Before I begin... Shit, that song's lyric and rhyme has got into mah brainz!
The artist really put a lot of effort into making this!
Anywho, herein shall I comment my thoughts on this latest controversial sensation that has taken over the Interweb in the last two days (and many more days to come as well). I promise to be as impartial as possible.
Where do we begin? Let's start with UUM, a short for Universiti Utara Malaysia or the Northern Universiti of Malaysia had this one modest forum held, titled : Seiringkah Mahasiswa Dan Politik? (Are Graduates In Line With Politics?) on December the 8th 2012. Our point of contempt here would be the hired speaker (as UUM has issued a statement that this particular speaker was invited over, not one of their own) Sharifah Zohra Jabeen.
THIS WOMAN HAS A FANPAGE! MAI SIAO-SIAO!!
Although no full-length event video was captured, but bits and parts of it, nonetheless, recorded and streamed into the interweb.
The kickoff for this event started off as politically-biased as it can be with the VIP of the event being invited to read out an oath that is to be followed by everyone (by hook or crook, like it or not, do or die) in the hall. The following would be excerps of the oath that disgust me:
"Menentang demonstrasi jalanan (cont)" (Rejecting street demonstrations; in direct referrence to the Bersih event that I have mentioned in my previous post.)
"(cont) penghancur keamanan (cont)" (Rejecting destroyers of peace; in direct referrence to Datuk Ambiga, head of the Bersih event, as how the speaker Sharifah Zohra Jabeen likened Datuk Ambiga as a destroyer of peace for holding the Bersih event.)
"(cont) menentang anasir luar yang menjadi barah, perosak anak-anak bangsa." (Rejecting cancerous [dangerous] outside elements that destroys our youth; once again, in direct referrence in how Bersih is already striking an impression amongst youth which they classify as evil or destructive.)
At the second minute of the clip, was the highlight of the event.
(LISTEN! x 30) + (LET ME SPEAK x 9) = Sharifah Zohra Jabeen
Everything erupted the moment the Indian girl in the clip, namely Miss Bawani KS, started declaring, with relevant point of views, on how Bersih is a legal function and questioning the government's sincerity in helping the students. She even gave her mathematical solutions on how the government can provide free education to students up until the tertier level, emulating and citing examples of countries doing so like Cuba and Argentina during the forum's Question and Answer session.
But the fun part happens when our discontented and disgruntled Madam Speaker, Sharifah, got down from the stage and stops our brave heroine from denoucing the lies and formulating a solution. Not only does Miss Bawani got denied of her freedom of speech, so does another Mr Peter too. It was Sharifah's repeated "Listen! Listen! Listen! Listen!.. " and "Let me speak! Let me speak! Let me speak!.." and also her "This is our event, when I speak, you listen!" in her attempt to silent Miss Bawani from speaking further that got the attention and wrath of the of the great Netizen.
Sharifah's formula to winning a debate.
Even Chief of Umno Youth, the firebrand Khairy Jamaluddin of BN has declared annonimousity when Sharifah and the group that she is president of; Suara Wanita 1 Malaysia (SW1M; Women's Voice of 1 Malaysia) name was mentioned. Many likened SW1M as a group under the government due to the fact that SW1M used the 1 Malaysia logo as part of their own decorum in their now war-zone page.
Khairy also don't want to save you.
Suara Wanita 1 Malaysia's facebook page is now administered distastefully by an admin named "Mis Natrah" as many more flaks comes shooting into the page with salvos after salvos contributed mainly by the angered public for the lack of apology and a stubborn retortment of the situation as the admin came riding on a pony's back and a lasso to save their now infamous president Sharifah.
My take on this situation? First off, it's plenty rude to cut off someone when they are giving their opinion in a forum with repeated "Listen!". This is called a forum for a reason, not a ceramah, not a syok sendiri event, neither is it a Hitler-style announcement, so why cut her off when she's merely explaining her facts on her findings?
Beyonce is always the better one with the mic.
Secondly, it's bloody rude to take away someone's microphone to prevent them from speaking further.
And who cares about your freedom of speech?
And thirdly, you don't cut someone off from her speech, talk about human rights and then argue about human rights using animals as examples.
Ikan jerung, anjing, kucing, burung, semua pun lebih rakus daripada manusia.
All in all, she failed wholy as an emcee, speaker, educator, adult, woman and last but not least, human, since she can so pleasently relate human rights to animals.
These just in, hotlinks to several national coverage on the event. Enjoy!
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